There’s five types of high fives:
- Plank – come in flat like a board and hit with an even smack
- Hold – go in angled to hold hands like brothers in arms
- Spank – hit quick and a bit hard
- Grab – pair palms and end with interlocking fingers
- Fist Bump – embrace social awkwardness and knuckle that palm
The bonus high five is my personal fave. It’s my ever so loving:
- Don’t fucking high five me.
High five? No. Put your hand down. I ain’t a toddler nor do neckties make us a competitive team.
I only high five in game. Call me old fashioned for only harlots expose their ankles. If we’re gaming, we’re five’n. Saying goodbye after dinner though? Hug me bitch.
High fives are meant to acknowledge some victory. We earn high fives. Cavalier high fives make us look fake.
Authenticity. I detest fake. If there’s no authenticity behind a high five, the gesture only serves as manipulative or selfish. The story comes first.
Dacher Keltner researched the power of touch and non-verbal communication in the NBA. In his study named “Tactile Communication, Cooperation, and Performance: An Ethological Study of the NBA”, Keltner discovered teams that touch each other more, win more. Touch strengthens connections and rapport. Touch works well in sports because it keeps teammates in sync with constantly acknowledging effort and common goals. We’re in this together. We’re doing this together.
If we’ve never stood by each other through adversity, high fives do more to push each other away. Adversity is spice. High fives with no spice is no yummy.
Don’t touch me.