8 Years Ago, I Had Fleas – Part 1

Startling revelation here in Irvine (FBI’s safest city in all of the United States…even with dangerous heartbreaking male specimens around… ~wink). What has happened you say?

The following is an old article from my first public blog.  Contains adult language.  Viewer discretion advised.

Startling revelation here in Irvine (FBI’s safest city in all of the United States…even with dangerous heartbreaking male specimens around… ~wink).

What has happened you say?

itsjohnkim.com---neck

itsjohnkim.com---leg

We got an infestation of FLEAS!!!  Fuck…not exactly the species of life I wanted sucking on my neck…

I would’ve preferred an encounter with a homo sapien boob-us humungous…

fleas_03

This is what they fucking look like…SICK!  Did you know that you can’t squash them?  Their exoskeletons are sooo freaking tough that you have to use your nails, or some like hard surfaces, to crush them!

Here’s a look at one, up-close and personal, in real life:

flea - red hot chili peppers

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This all began with my roommate telling me he saw this weird bug hopping around his room…

roommate-1_01

That’s the fucking bastard that brought in the pesky fleas!  (Obviously doesn’t do a good job cleaning…)

I think it was the day he made a mess in my room.  I had to roll up a nearby newspaper and hit him a few times in the nose with it – you know, for discipline.  I felt bad, so I took him out for a walk.  He was so happy; he ran around all over the place, rolling and frolicking in the grass…I rubbed his belly for a few, then we went back home…little did I know that he was crawling with insects (…dirty mother fucker).

He’s got a few bites on him…but I’ve got it like 10000x’s worse!!!  I guess it’s cuz I’ve got such sweet, caring, warm, thoughtful, intelligent, passionate, nutritious blood – chop full of vitamins A through Zinc…

My other roommate:

roommate-2_01

He says he’s got a few bites also…but he’s got the least amount.  It’s probably because fleas don’t like MSG…haha…

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My future Christmas present for my roommates:

flea collar

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