The Clippers made the playoffs, so I was left babysitting the nephew and niece. Why wasn’t I invited to watch the Clippers make history? Because my brother-in-law wanted to attend the game with his wife, like a romo. And, there’s the fact that I’ve been a lifelong Laker fan.
The day was long and adventurous. We discussed philosophy and the secrets to maintaining a youthful spirit. I tried joking with the boy.
“Uncle John. Stop being annoying.” Solomon said.
“I’m annoying? Sophie, do you think so too?”
“Baahhhh,” Sophie replied.
Sophie doesn’t speak much, but her eyes were aligned with her brother. It’s becoming ever more difficult to choose a favorite between my sister’s children. They’re getting wise to my nuisance. My love is growing conditions.
The girl adores her brother. She copies his dangerous ways and laughs at all of his jokes. But, does he drive a car? Does Solomon have money? Sophie clearly has yet to tune into her feminine side. In some years, she’ll realize that her uncle is the awesomest provider of ice cream.
I am the indisputable best uncle in the universe. Great uncles must not only bring joy, but also deliver our world’s crude realities. The next time we play video games, I shall crush the boy and end his previously unchallenged victories. I am THE super smash brother. Solomon’s delusions of grandeur need to be pounded down to his 4 year old truths. For the sake of our civilized society, I will l33t all over his noob. I will win back my ego, shove my face into his ear and ask, “Who’s annoying NOW?!”
Santa Claus ain’t real. You’re welcome.