[Assume Witty Title]

Looks like I didn’t publish here at all in 2018.

Anyway…wtf WordPress?! Your word editor is shit. NEVER spackle over the canvas. This platform is supposed to be for writing. When writing, we want to see the entire text and sprawling layout. I appreciate your helpful intent. You’re in the way.

For example…

turrible.

Your palette buttons are hovering over the sentences.

I need to see all my text at all times. Always. Every word is a stroke on the canvas. I monitor every past word as I plot the next stroke. If you and I were actors playing out a scene, you’z talkin over my lines!

My Dear WordPress, I say this as old friends. Get off the field! There’s a game playing in the middle, so keep your craft services at the sidelines. I also lost tremendously in fantasy football. Sorry to take it out on you. We cool bro. But fix your shit. And, we cool.

When Did Obnoxious Become Funny?

Dis shit needs to stop.

I hate the fact that 13 year olds get to determine what’s funny these days.

Everyone’s a fucking comedian now.  All it takes is a phone with a camera and that one idiot friend that happens to laugh at your stupid jokes.  You get encouraged because one person laughed when you farted and all of a sudden you’ve got ambitions of becoming the next Youtube comic.

Want to know if you’re actually funny?  Make a cashier laugh.  You’ve got 30 seconds and a jaded audience.  Can you make Barbara sincerely laugh from deep within her pot-belly of broken dreams?

You’re funny if you can get someone to listen.  Comedy demands the full attention of the audience.

Uploading a stupid video doesn’t make you a fucking comedian.  Your audience is watching because they have nothing better to do.  An online audience is ACTIVELY LOOKING to be entertained.  They are desperate to pass a few minutes of time.  View count doesn’t mean shit.  It’s all a fleeting moment.

The reason why internet celebrities have trouble becoming a household name is because they aren’t funny.  Teenagers have an abundance of time and they’re all browsing the internet to avoid learning anything that will actually be important in their lives.

Make me laugh.  I’ve got a job.  I don’t even have time to see my friends that are actual professional stand-up comedians/artists/musicians/entertainers/and simply goddamn funny ass people.  Can you get me to listen, or are you just another niga with a higa riding the naivety of prepubescents?  Being obnoxious ain’t funny.

It just makes me sick that comedians with decades of well-crafted comedic craft are getting overshadowed by annoying morons posting their own quick-cut online videos.  The editing is shitty.  The camera’s out of focus.  And just because teenagers with shitty tastes are wasting their abundant minutes clicking the fucking links, no-talent hacks are paving the future towards lower quality entertainment.

I wish from the bottom of my fucking cold-beating heart that I could fight against this movement towards idiocracy.  Unfortunately, I’ve got a job and a credit score to maintain.  I don’t have the time to invest in raising the view count on quality comedy.  Tweens are gonna win by default.  The future is bleak with a lot of “how.the.fuck…is this supposed to be funny?”