Honestly. I want to know. I’ve grown up with three women and no father my entire life, and I still don’t understand. Why do all women like to talk while I’m shitting behind the bathroom door?
The bathroom door is closed. I’d like some privacy. We can talk later. The bedroom door is closed. I need some silence. Let’s discuss later. The car doors are closed. For the love of God, you can yell at me later.
It’s a mystery that I’ve pondered my entire life. The only time my college bros spoke into a closed bathroom door was to confirm if shit was being shat on the shitter.
If it were mere chatter, a man could try to zone it out. But it’s always an onslaught of questions.
“Honey, what do you feel like for dinner?”
“When you’re done, can you take out the trash?”
“Babe…did you want the last macaron?”
I don’t understand, and I don’t know if I ever will. Women will talk through a bathroom door. The only way to get privacy back is to leave the door wide open and shit with your ankles behind your ears. Trust me. She won’t stick around for the show.