8 Years Ago, I Had Fleas – Part 2


The following is an old article from my first public blog.  Contains adult language.  Viewer discretion advised.

FUCK!!!  THESE FLEAS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!  Stupid fucking spray didn’t work…on to buying some flea-nukes!


Fucking bullshit!!!  I spent all this fucking time spraying the entire house with this crap and we still have a flea problem!  I struggled and struggled with this spray because the stupid nozzle happened to be broken too!!!  Talk about foreshadowing…

The Early Onset:


A Bloody Turn of Events:


Fucking disgusting!!!  Not just the sheer pale scrawny-ness of my hairy legs, but the fact that the pesky species finds me sooo damn irresistibly delicious!!!  ~yum yum, get me some John to munch on…bitches…geez…

After hours of having a mental debate as to the persistence of the fucking fleas, I’ve come to conclude that they won’t go away because of…The Criminal…or as the French say, “Ze Criminale.”

The Villian:


Man, I used to think this bastard was cool and fucking gangster.  The animal police came to take it to jail, but I stood up for it…shiieet!  Now, there is nothing I want more than to catch this fucking bastard…tie up its hands and feet…and douse it with itching powder!!!  Be like, “how do you like that shit you fucking bastard ass raccoon!!!”  (then pee on it straight R. Kelly style)


This is fucking whack!  I’ve got my hardest and most important Final Exam on Thursday also!  FUCK!  STRESS!


“I see you did really poorly on your finals, John.  What do you have to say about this?”

“…Ummm…I was really itchy…”


Until I have time to nuke the shit out of these fucking fleas, Imma have to just settle for some temporary flea repellent…

chinese food



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